Fighting Tigers.

There comes a time in every young chaps life when he must head out into the world, cast aside the shackles of youth and prove himself a man. Perhaps he accomplishes this feat by taking over Fathers multi-million pound company and transforming it into a multi-billion pound company. Perhaps he takes part in a classic car rally, skidding precariously round mountaintop roads and speeding his way to glory and everlasting fame. Perhaps the young chap heads to the casinos of Las Vegas and makes a pile on the roulette tables whilst flirting outrageously with young starlets under the ever watchful eye of old crooners. But if you are stuck for more novel ideas, one cannot fail with the age old male pastime of killing some huge beasty with a big gun. There is nothing that will set your stake higher then coming home to tell your parents or little woman that you have bagged a Tiger. It's head perched over your shoulder in a knapsack you set it on the table with pride and from all around will come the sound of swooning fillies and fellows saying "Jolly good show! This, is what being a man is all about. "There I was!" You tell them "Crouched in the jungles of Calcutta, my rifle in hand, beads of sweat slowly creeping from my brow, every small step seeming to echo loudly against the quiet of the jungle. Insects buzzed but the rustling of bigger animals had ceased in that all too familiar warning, A predator is near." I had downed my G&T, grabbed my rifle and leapt into the nearest bush and now here I was, my heart pounding against my chest in a futile effort to escape and my eyes straining, searching the trees for any sign of movement. "I crept ever forward, certain that at any moment the claws of said huge beasty would surely tear me limb from limb, when suddenly from my right side came a blood-curdling growl and the brush parted as a giant tiger leapt forth and swatted my gun from my hand. I was knocked to the ground and only just managed to avoid having my head bitten off by rolling to one side at the last second, I leapt to my feet, pulled my trusty hunting knife from my belt and ran to meet the Tiger's attack. We clashed head on, two titans engaged in epic struggle, both throwing punches and ducking and weaving for all we were worth. I got the better of the exchange and managed to knock the bugger off balance with a judo hip throw. He staggered back still in my clutches and we both fell head long through the trees and rolled into a dashed river. Our mortal fight far from over we wrestled back and forth in the raging river,the villainous Tiger held my head under the water with both paws but I fought my way to the surface and managed to get him into a choke hold. As I felt his strength sap from his body the rush of the water started to pound in my ears and grow stronger by the second. I chanced a glance over my shoulder and was put out to see an approaching waterfall. We were bucked and thrown clear of the waterfall, falling a hundred and fifty feet into the raging waters below. We became separated in the fall and as I struggled to the surface and to the waters edge my mind sharpened for the oncoming battle to the death. The Tiger looked weary, like the soggy moggy he was. I stood, respect for my foe shining from my eyes and spoke for the first time, "Look Tiger, let's put an end to this nonsense. We'll call it quits today and meet again another. What say you sir?" The tired Tiger nodded his head wisely and turned to walk away but suddenly he sprung at me, murder burning in his eyes, though he had reckoned without my trusty blade. As he he crashed against me I buried the cold steel straight through his heart. "I thought you were a Tiger, but now I see you're a "Cheater". I quipped.

This, is how you become a man.