The Impossible Task Of Defining Perfection.

The concept of a gentleman is a curious one, at once evocative yet impossible to define, it is the vaguest possible description of a vast array of unrelated and wholly confusing attributes yet it seems to pinpoint with unerring accuracy our perceptions. I do not intend to speak here on the traditional (read : old fashioned)  idea of a gentleman, some landowner from long ago poncing about town in a frock coat and riding boots is all well and good for Victorian England but frankly I don't recommend it as any way for a young chap to conduct himself. I tend then, more towards the modern perception of a gentleman, divided as these ideas are between America and England, for they are two utterly different ideas. First, let us sum up the pedestal mounted ideals of each species, starting with Britain.

British Gentlemen

This chap is gazing into the distance, searching for far off lands just begging to be civilised. Tea and railroads 

for everybody. 

In modern Britain, being the hub of all civilisation and excellence, those typically described as being a gentleman tend towards those of exemplary manner. Their status in life is scarcely considered, not their money, job, assets, education, nor manner of dress weigh in any matter on the perception of a gentleman. This is perhaps the closest to the dictionary's definition of what a gentleman ought to be, described as it is in one entry as "A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behaviour." The idea of a feudal land owning baron being perceived as a gentleman has long since passed on the shores of this fair isle, if some Duke or other is lacking in the required manner, none shall hesitate to dash his claim to this noble title. There also exists in Britain the ideal "British Gentleman" this is perhaps the most common image conjured when the word "gentleman" is uttered, imagine him, if you will, striding along Piccadilly, immaculately attired in three piece suit with tightly rolled umbrella thrust under one arm. He walks with head held high and back straight, towards his gentleman club in which he may sit with other like minded chaps, quaffing tea and ridiculing foreigners. This though, is perhaps a little close to caricature and one must be clear at all times that the rarefied heights of the true gentleman would never fall to such indignity as to be considered a stereotype.

Southern Gentlemen

"I do declare that you must be the finest flower in all the South." Or some other hilariously contrived Southern things to say.

Let us turn our gaze Westwards, towards the colonial island known as America, a wild and savage land filled to the brim with all manner of humanity. America holds a special place in the hearts of all British folk as would a particularly rebellious child, whom, upon being carefully schooled in the correct manner of imperialism and arrogance, violently casts off the authority of their parent and stomps off into the world, happy to cause all manner of mayhem whilst said parent looks on, stiff lipped and proud. Now then, In America you have a splendid breed, The Confederate Gentleman (or for those of a particularly nervous and politically correct disposition, the Southern Gentleman) here is a chap for chaps of all backgrounds to get behind. He drinks fine whisky and cocktails, he puffs heartily on tobacco pipes, he dresses in splendid attire and he treats all those he meets with courtesy and polite refrain. Perhaps he resides in some beautiful Confederate mansion, replete with porch to rest ones weary feet whilst sipping cocktails and cradling a shotgun in the lap, suspiciously eyeing strangers. 

Douchebags Calling Themselves Gentlemen

I cannot even start to explain how much I want to punch him in his impossibly smug face.

Last, but by no means least, let us view what a gentleman is most certainly not. A gentleman is not defined by his clothing, lifetime loyalty cards to Ralph Lauren and Brook's Brothers do not a gentleman make, though of course upholding standards of appearance cannot hurt. Nor then does proclaiming oneself a gentleman hold any merit, on Twitter or the like, some handle pertaining to ones gentlemanly qualities is not sufficient to cement ones legacy. A knowledge of fine wines or foods, a well read manner or a cultural inclination, all fall by the wayside if proper manners are not upheld. 

The Ideal Gentlemen

"Don't be frightened Ladies, but there is a suave motherfucker on the loose."

So then, assuming we are satisfied with at least a vague idea of what constitutes a gentleman, let me lay before you the ideal. Read well, classics and beautiful novels. Listen well, the strains of the master composers. Dress well, uphold the highest standards you can possibly set and refuse to bow. Mean well, take each day as an opportunity for improvement, not only of your life, but of those you love. Treat well, your manners are your calling card to your friends, family and strangers alike, all should feel equally comforted by your presence.

In short then, be perfect. 

Fighting Tigers.

There comes a time in every young chaps life when he must head out into the world, cast aside the shackles of youth and prove himself a man. Perhaps he accomplishes this feat by taking over Fathers multi-million pound company and transforming it into a multi-billion pound company. Perhaps he takes part in a classic car rally, skidding precariously round mountaintop roads and speeding his way to glory and everlasting fame. Perhaps the young chap heads to the casinos of Las Vegas and makes a pile on the roulette tables whilst flirting outrageously with young starlets under the ever watchful eye of old crooners. But if you are stuck for more novel ideas, one cannot fail with the age old male pastime of killing some huge beasty with a big gun. There is nothing that will set your stake higher then coming home to tell your parents or little woman that you have bagged a Tiger. It's head perched over your shoulder in a knapsack you set it on the table with pride and from all around will come the sound of swooning fillies and fellows saying "Jolly good show! This, is what being a man is all about. "There I was!" You tell them "Crouched in the jungles of Calcutta, my rifle in hand, beads of sweat slowly creeping from my brow, every small step seeming to echo loudly against the quiet of the jungle. Insects buzzed but the rustling of bigger animals had ceased in that all too familiar warning, A predator is near." I had downed my G&T, grabbed my rifle and leapt into the nearest bush and now here I was, my heart pounding against my chest in a futile effort to escape and my eyes straining, searching the trees for any sign of movement. "I crept ever forward, certain that at any moment the claws of said huge beasty would surely tear me limb from limb, when suddenly from my right side came a blood-curdling growl and the brush parted as a giant tiger leapt forth and swatted my gun from my hand. I was knocked to the ground and only just managed to avoid having my head bitten off by rolling to one side at the last second, I leapt to my feet, pulled my trusty hunting knife from my belt and ran to meet the Tiger's attack. We clashed head on, two titans engaged in epic struggle, both throwing punches and ducking and weaving for all we were worth. I got the better of the exchange and managed to knock the bugger off balance with a judo hip throw. He staggered back still in my clutches and we both fell head long through the trees and rolled into a dashed river. Our mortal fight far from over we wrestled back and forth in the raging river,the villainous Tiger held my head under the water with both paws but I fought my way to the surface and managed to get him into a choke hold. As I felt his strength sap from his body the rush of the water started to pound in my ears and grow stronger by the second. I chanced a glance over my shoulder and was put out to see an approaching waterfall. We were bucked and thrown clear of the waterfall, falling a hundred and fifty feet into the raging waters below. We became separated in the fall and as I struggled to the surface and to the waters edge my mind sharpened for the oncoming battle to the death. The Tiger looked weary, like the soggy moggy he was. I stood, respect for my foe shining from my eyes and spoke for the first time, "Look Tiger, let's put an end to this nonsense. We'll call it quits today and meet again another. What say you sir?" The tired Tiger nodded his head wisely and turned to walk away but suddenly he sprung at me, murder burning in his eyes, though he had reckoned without my trusty blade. As he he crashed against me I buried the cold steel straight through his heart. "I thought you were a Tiger, but now I see you're a "Cheater". I quipped.

This, is how you become a man.

Personal Style

I spoke recently about the issues I have with advising people to apply sprezzatura to their work outfits and feel it is only correct that I now explain the times in which I feel "sprezzatura" is right and advisable. First off let me say that I don't really believe that any man should be advised to use sprezzatura specifically, the idea of sprezzatura has become so widespread that anybody seen adopting it now will be immediately spotted by anybody who has ever read a mens style blog and the overriding opinion will be that you are trying too hard. However, in terms of nonchalant style, dressing in your own manner and not caring about how "put together" your look is, are the bedrocks of personal style. If you have a tendency to throw things together in a sprezzatura fashion and leave the house without a glance at the mirror and yet still find people complimenting your style, go with that. If you need two hours and several differently angled mirrors to get your look absolutely perfect, go with that, that's you. For myself, I do not like any look to appear contrived, by which I mean I don't ever wish to appear that I am trying to look a certain way. I don't wish to be pidgeonholed. Whenever you see somebody walking down the street who has gravitated towards any trend (be it old or new) it takes away from the look. If someone is dressed in leather jacket and torn jeans with converse trainers, they look like a Ramones fan who has tried hard to copy their look, if they are wearing a grey t shirt with lots of necklaces and bracelets in leather and silver and wearing black spectacles with long hair, they have attempted the Bohemian look.

   The only person who should dress like 

Johnny Depp, is Johnny Depp

I believe that whenever you see somebody who has clearly attempted these styles, it takes away from the look itself. No matter how cool the look itself is, the fact that the person has flat out copied somebody elses style takes away from the whole aspect. Here then, is my point, when you dress in the morning, dress for yourself. Wear only what you think looks good and what you feel comfortable in. Do not try to dress like somebody else, try to dress like yourself. If you have to be told to dress in a sprezzatura style, then that look is not for you. The fellows who have made that look their own, are the ones who did it naturally, without being told to.

  I promise you no-one told Gianna Agnelli to 

wear hiking boots with a suit.

That is all him.

For me, it took a long time to come to an idea of my own personal style and unless you are already there, it won't happen overnight for you either. I grew up following fashions and trends like most teenage boys but my Father always had a great eye for style and it was he who first introduced me to the concept of personal style. He followed a very classic look of English style suits but added his personal twist by using very heavy wool fabrics pinstriped in bright, unusual colours. One of his favourite suits is a beautiful brown wool with a bright red pinstripe worn with a white shirt and red silk tie. The look is very striking and yet looks perfectly smart and traditional, my Father had used his own sense of style and he looks great for it. From there he moved onto a more casual look as he got older and retired, he was the first person I saw wear jeans with a tweed jacket and white shirt (in England anyway) and his only change since then is to add bespoke waistcoats underneath the tweed jackets, in the same material. It is another striking look and utterly personal to him. He never dresses like anybody else but instead forges his own path. He gets many compliments on his great style and has been photographed several times walking about london for fashion blogs. My own style has been much influenced by my Father and perhaps the only real difference is that I will wear far bolder colours than he will. At the office my tendency is to wear subdued suits with brightly coloured shirts and a subdued tie, wearing the shirt in bright colours with other subdued items allows the shirt to be the focal point of my look, rather than being an overbearing mix of patterns and colours. Perhaps the closest look I have seen in the celebrity world is worn by Ozwald Boateng on occasion.

A similar visual structure to the way I dress, though I tend towards knit ties rather than the skinny variety, of which I am not a fan.

I have also gravitated towards a rather old fashioned style of jacket, in that my preferred cut is a three button with a very high closing, leaving only a small part of the shirt and tie left visible when closed. A call back to my early teen years in which I was a huge fan of Mods and their music. I like to play with colours but for the most part my style is fairly traditional, my only particularly outgoing characteristics are my brightly coloured shirts and I have a tendency towards brightly coloured shoes (when dressed casually). As far as I am concerned it is important to stay true to yourself, only make quirks to your clothing if they feel natural and feel personally correct. If you naturally like to have your clothes in pristine order with not a cord out of place, forcing yourself into an unstructured look because it appears fashionable or you are told it is stylish is wrong, for you and for anybody looking at your clothes. Confidence is key in all things and especially in clothes, if you aren't confident, your embarrassment or discomfort will shine like a beacon expsoing you to all who look upon you. If you dress naturally, wear the things you like in the manner that you like them, your comfort and confidence will shine just as bright. Dress for you, not for someone you have never met who told you how to dress on the internet or in a magazine.

You better believe Andreas Kronthaler does not consider your opionion

when he gets dressed in the morning.

No Sprezzatura At Work Ever

You will find, on your many travels around the internet, that many style guides and so called "style gurus" will tout the myriad benefits of sprezzatura, a studied nonchalance applied to your style of dress.They will tell you that this artful dishevellment will add depth to your style, that other grown men will stop in the street to admire the way you have failed to sensibly arrange the collar of your shirt or that your tie being poorly tied and facing the wrong direction will cause beautiful women to swoon as they pass. Let me tell you now that they will not, the style gurus are wrong, if they had IQs any lower, they would need watering. They forget, often, that the people reading their blogs are generally university students or men who work in offices day to day. And, unless you are Italian or attending Pitti you will simply look as if you got dressed in the dark. Please, by all that is holy do not attmept anything approaching sprezzatura whilst you are at work. These gurus constantly tell people to stand out in the office (or other place of work) by wearing their clothes in an artfully dishevelled manner. Gianni Agnelli (splendid man as he was) could get away with it because he owned the company. If any of my employees ever had the audacity to show up at work with their shirts mis-buttoned or wearing hiking boots instead of shoes I would not only fire them on the spot but I would also phone every other company in the industry and make sure they couldn't get another job.

                                  If you show up to work like this I will hunt you down and
                                                         make your life a misery.

 I will be very clear here, at work you must dress impeccably, not well, impeccably. Show up without a hair out of place, clean shaven and of spotless appearance and I promise you will look far better than any attempt at dishevellment will make you look. Here is where being an Englishman (or imitating one for you less fortunate people) can come into it's own. Forget the style gurus and looks to English understatment for your key look here. If you must have an idol then look to Hollywoods past or Don Draper in the present (Mad Men is awful but Draper wears a mean grey suit) you know the look I mean, pristine, professional. Sprezzatura has it's place, if you are going to a party or bar then by all means present yourself as you wish, but never in the office.

Introduction

My name is Horatio Ryder, and welcome to my blog. I am 24 years old and live in London, England. My hobbies and passions include clothing, women, cars, films, music and reading. I have created this blog with the express intention of cataloguing my life and experiences, be they experiences of fashion, meeting women or simply thoughts that occur to me. The backbone of the blog will be clothes, for all of the things that I love to do are tarnished by a slovenly appearance. So enjoy, learn and feel free to contact me at any time.